Thursday, November 25, 2010

Chronic Illness and Thanksgiving

The first Thanksgiving after I was diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematosus, I couldn’t find much for which to be thankful except that I was still alive. I was in constant pain. I felt like I had an unremitting case of the flu for over six months. I had lost both my jobs and had no income. A kidney biopsy the month before Thanksgiving confirmed lupus nephritis and I had started on chemotherapy. When you have a chronic illness, it’s often hard to find reasons to be thankful.

Seven years later, my lupus is in remission. The remission is chemically induced, but I’ll take any remission that comes my way! Reflecting back, I am actually thankful for my lupus. That probably sounds very strange. Why would I be thankful? Lupus robbed me of so many things-ability to work, ability to do many activities of daily living, my identity and my self esteem. There was nothing left but me, breathing. I have since built an amazing new life. I would never have taken the risk of eliminating things from my life and adding some new ones if I hadn’t first been empty because of my chronic illness.

Today, I am healthier than I have been at any other time in my life, in spite of the lupus. So today, in addition to giving thanks for all the good things in my life, I am also giving thanks to lupus that gave me the opportunity to build a new life.

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