A Goof Off Day

Yesterday was a goof off day. I wasn't sick or anything. I was just feeling a little rebellious from two weeks of very hard work and a hard weekend ahead. I hung out in my caftan, drank tea, ate Christmas candy and played video games on my Nook. A few times, I had a case of the 'shoulds' as in, "I should be getting that music in order. I should be cleaning the bathroom. I should be making Christmas fudge." But I chilled instead.

My lupus was undiagnosed for 38 years. Every year as Christmas approached, I was tired, but pushed and then pushed a little bit more. Christmas had to be perfect. Gifts needed to be made and purchased. Baking traditions had to be upheld. Like clockwork, every year in the middle of playing midnight Mass, I would feel the beginnings of a cold-sore throat, swollen glands, fever. I soldiered through Christmas Day and crashed that night. I stayed sick until after Easter each year.

My diagnosis in 2003 was pretty dramatic. Multiple organ systems were affected. For 4 years, I had no choice but to rest when the holidays came. The lupus has gradually come under control. Along the way, I learned that no matter what you do, Christmas will come. Just being with family and friends is all that really matters. I learned to examine my priorities. And I learned that when my body calls for a goof off day, I need to listen!