Saturday, January 21, 2012

Soldiering On

This morning I am reflecting on a young woman who clearly has a chronic illness but her diagnosis remains elusive. As with most chronic illnesses, her health is unpredictable from day to day and even hour to hour. She keeps soldiering on. I did that too until I finally got hauled off in an ambulance.

When we refuse to take the time we need to heal, that is a symptom of denial. When we believe that we are indispensable, that is a symptom of denial. When we say, "I'll be fine tomorrow" without any concrete evidence, that is a symptom of denial.

Part of this irrational thinking is that we have to push ourselves so that we won't let down our loved ones or friends or employers. The truth of the matter is that when we soldier on, we aren't giving our best. When we make promises that our health probably won't let us keep, we are letting them down even more. We create unreasonable expectations and then beat ourselves up for not meeting them.

A good way to find your compass in this situation is to pretend that you are healthy and that someone you love has what you have. What would you expect of them? What would you do to help them? What advice would you have for them? Now, do that for yourself.

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