Resilience

I am sitting here tonight, reflecting on the week that just passed. As the week approached last Friday, I knew that I had huge challenges and a huge amount of work. Last Sunday, I had a 15 hour non-stop work day to kick things off. This past week was Ash Wednesday (church and school obligations), the spring musical at school meaning that we were in "hell week" for rehearsals, the visit of a top ranking Salesian to our parish and attendant functions, and the moving of the office of the Lupus Foundation of Florida. I thought, "That's more than enough for a 60 year old woman with lupus."

But that was not enough. A week ago Friday, I received a message that my estranged father was in Hospice care and would be happy to see me. That night, I went on to paint sets at school, but took time to go to the chapel to cry and pray. The next morning, my oldest son (age 36) went with me to Hospice. I had no idea what would happen, but I was determined to do the right thing. While there, I found out that my father died about an hour before I arrived. The week was spent trying to figure out who was going to arrange his service (when you are estranged these things are complicated) and being attacked for stepping up. I had to remind myself that I cannot control what other people do or say, but I CAN control my reaction. It was hard not to let old rusty buttons be pushed. But I held firm.

Tonight, the whole insane week is behind me. I am still standing. I am still healthy. Resilience is an amazing quality. I learned resilience by going through many hells. Each time I came out on the other side, I had a new understanding of my ability to make it through trials and create a new life. I never thought of it as resilience until I read this pamphlet from the American Psychological Association, "The Road to Resilience."

And so, in quiet solitude, I rejoice in my resilience. My prayer is that you can reach deep down inside and find your resilience too.