Baby Steps

“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: ...So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”
-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

We want to get better. We want to go back to our pre-illness self and our pre-illness life. We want to go back to a time when our days were not filled with pills and doctors’ appointments, procedures and blood draws. Since we can’t go back, the only way to go is forward. But where are we going? We are going to do whatever we need to do to live the best life possible. We are going to be sick well.

Goals are great. Goals mean that we have hope. When chronic illness comes to visit, we have a choice. We can hold onto our old goals or we can make new goals. In 2003, the loftiest goal I could imagine was getting out of my pajamas every day or at least changing to clean pajamas by dinner time. I learned that to achieve the goal of getting out of my pajamas, I needed to take a series of small steps, resting after each one. Decide what to wear. Rest. Find the clothes. Rest. Take a shower. Taking a shower was huge. I had to rest for at least an hour. Get dressed. Rest. Be proud of myself. I did it! The first step is always getting started. Every small triumph inspires us to go on.

What new goals do you have now that you have chronic illness? Pick one goal that is achievable. Make it a small goal. Make a list of all the steps you must take to get to the goal. Go back over the list and break each step into smaller steps. Work on just that one goal, one tiny step at a time. Setbacks are not failures. If you have a setback ask yourself what you learned. Then carry on. Give yourself permission to keep on trying. Life with chronic illness is about progress, not perfection.

From Life Recycled: Creating a New Normal in the Face of Chronic Illness Release date April 1, 2018.