Feeling Alone

Chronic illness isolates. Who wants to hang out and have fun when taking a shower uses up half our energy for the whole day? Chances are we would be a wet blanket anyway. What if we have to go home or nap or get to a bathroom really fast? If we say yes on Tuesday, we may just have to cancel on Thursday. Chronic illness is not a respecter of calendars and appointment books.

But there is another kind of isolation. You know it by this intense, stabbing feeling of aloneness. You don’t fit. Life is going on and you are on hold. You wish just one person could really be there with you, understand your experience, and feel your pain. And no matter how nice they are, the healthy folks just don’t get what it’s like to be you. You feel cut off, isolated, terribly alone.

Time for a reality check. You are the only one who can feel what you are feeling. They are the only ones who can feel what they are feeling. We can care for each other, but we cannot feel for the other. We can stand together in the stream of one another’s pain, but not take the pain from each other. When you change your expectations, you may find that someone has been standing with you the whole time!