Yesterday, I came home from a long and challenging work day to find a message on Facebook from my first ex-husband. My father is in hospice with colon cancer and would like to see me. My father and I haven't spoken or seen one another in 26 years. I am going this morning. I don't know how to do this.
When I got the word, I called or emailed 3 of my strongest "go to" people. The chats were brief. There is hardly any advice one can give in situations like this. They know that and so do I. I was able to step back just enough to look for the right resources. Hospice chaplains know how to help people do this. I will meet with the chaplain before I go in to see my father.
When we are diagnosed with a chronic illness, we don't know how to "do this." I certainly didn't. But after a period of deep despair and depression, I had a moment of clarity that changed my life and my relationship to my lupus. I thought, "If I am going through this, then other people have gone through this. Some of them have come out successfully on the other side. Some of those people must have written books about it. I will find them and I will learn."
In our pain, whatever pain that might be, it is easy to isolate ourselves. It's easy to crawl in a hole and pull the hole in after you. It's easy to believe that you are the only person who is suffering. The truth is we all suffer at one time or another. Reaching out to people who can light our way makes all the difference.
1 comment:
Reading posts like this helps more than you know. I hope you find peace Linda. From one that has suffered.
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