Friday, April 6, 2012

A Lesson from the Crud

I got the crud. I thought I wouldn't get sick, but I did. With the lupus well controlled and lots of good self-management tools in my tool box, I have managed to stay very healthy over all. But Monday night, that familiar clammy feeling and irritation in my throat heralded the arrival of the crud. (People don't seem to use the word crud much anymore. I think we should bring it back!)

I got antibiotics early Wednesday morning and soldiered on through stations of the cross, played a funeral for the matriarch of the Irish Travellers that winter at our parish and made an hour and a half lupus presentation to the Osceola County school nurses-a 200 mile round trip. A tanker truck of hot tea and broth, swigs of Dayquil from the bottle, and a good friend who offered to do the driving got me through.

But did I have the good sense to rest on Wednesday night? No! I was bound and determined to go out to the evening concert of Tampa Taiko. And I did. I rested a lot on Thursday and only had Mass in the evening. Despite the wonders of Nyquil, I woke myself up hacking in the wee hours of the morning.

This morning, I felt the need to reflect on my behavior. The first thing that came to mind is that soldiering on like I did on Wednesday is my own sneaky form of denial. Denial, by its very nature, does not like to be examined in the light. This is a denial that got fat after decades of my feeling miserable with no respite in sight.

But denial is not the only thing that comes into play here. I learned early on in my journey with lupus, that taking a couple of days off really didn't make a difference. I learned that I could be sick at home or be sick at work. Either way, I stayed sick. A common cold with lupus could last for 3 months! I am 60. Old patterns die hard.

Since I have gone into remission, I have had to learn new ways of deealing with the common ailments that afflict everyone from time to time. I have learned that doing nothing for a couple of days, napping a lot, and plenty of warm fluids can often stop a cold in its tracks. I forgot that lesson this week. I am remembering to follow that lesson today.

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