Don't Shoot the Messenger

Just like medication, nurses and doctors are annoying reminders that we are sick. We have to keep seeing them, but we often don’t get much better. When we are in a better period, we don’t want to be reminded about our condition. When we are feeling sick, we don’t want to be frustrated by the fact that this visit is not likely to make us feel better. It’s is the rare doctor’s office indeed, where you don’t have to wait for an hour or more past your appointment time. Once you are lucky enough to get into an exam room, you realize that this is just a different room where you get to be on hold. It’s easy to get frustrated and impatient. And because the encounter with the medical system is always an encounter with our condition, we get even more upset.

It helps to remember that the nurse, physician’s assistant and the doctor are not your disease. I agree that things could be better. But by being a crabby patient you aren’t going to win any battles. And don’t forget that people usually go into medicine because they want to help people. Our disease frustrates them, too. Balance is the key. As a patient, we deserve to be treated with respect and to have our time respected. We also need to afford respect to the folks in our medical offices.

If you encounter problems, take a deep breath and decide how you will react. Remember, we can’t control what others do, but we can control how we react to it. If necessary, write a letter to your doctor calmly calling attention to the problem or bring it up at your next appointment.

Last week I went to see my rheumatologist loaded for bear. I had several unpleasant telephone encounters with the new young lady at the front desk. I nicknamed her the pit bull gatekeeper. After fantasizing all kinds of bodily harm for three months, I calmly explained to my rheumatologist that I had been quite sick and needed to speak with him, but that she proved to be a nearly insurmountable obstacle. He explained that she was a temp, now gone and that I could always feel free to just come in or call him on his cell. What could have been a confrontation and damaged my relationship with my doctor was resolved calmly.