The Power of Words

In February of 2003, after more than a week in the hospital, the doctors finally came up with a diagnosis for me: systemic lupus erythematosus. My rheumatologist stood at the side of my bed and said, "You have lupus. Do you know what that is?" I muttered something about it being autoimmune, making you tired, and having to stay out of the sun. "Good," he said, and left.

The hospital stay was 14 days. A month after my discharge,I went to see my rheumatologist for a follow up. I wanted to know if lupus was progressive, if I would be able to work again, if I would lose my independence, if I would die a slow lingering death by inches. He didn't give me any concrete answers. I was madder than a wet hen and did what I always do when I am frightened or angry, I go to work learning and looking for a solution. I lost both my jobs and ended up on disability.

In 2007, I went back to work and went off disability. Over those 4 years, my progress was excruciatingly slow but it was steady. I still see my rheumatologist every 3 months. At my last apointment, I thanked him for being so vague back in 2003. He left me to figure a lot out for myself. What I figured out was that this "disability" was going to be temporary. In my mind, it was just going to take longer to get back on my feet than it had all those times I got sick and was never diagnosed.

The words that others say to us and those we say to ourselves are extremely powerful. Words can precondition us for failure and surrender. Words can also light the way out of the darkness. What are people telling you? What are you telling yourself?

If you want to read an excellent book about this check out Counter Clockwise: Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility by Ellen J. Langer.