Yesterday, I played a funeral for an 18 year old boy who was killed in a motorcycle accident. Playing the organ for the funerals of children and teens has always been the hardest part of being a church musician. Later on, I learned that this was the third child in this family to die tragically. The first died in a car accident and the second was shot. I can't imagine the pain of those parents. In light of what happened to this family, I am thankful that my family is healthy and alive and that all I have to deal with is lupus. It seems very insignificant in comparison.
Along the way, there have been people who told me to be thankful that I don't have something worse. Considering that the lupus affected my heart, lungs, bone marrow, blood, kidneys, joints and brain, that was a little hard to imagine. I would think to myself, "How dare you say that? You have no idea what it is to be me, living with lupus." Someone else's suffering does not make our suffering any less. Sometimes, I would respond with a smart remark like, "Yeah, I am so thankful I don't have leprosy and that my nose isn't falling off on the sidewalk!"
I now know that 125 million Americans have some kind of chronic illness. I have learned to live well with lupus. My "new normal" life is pretty good. I know the wolf. I have learned to keep him calm most of the time. So, as I write I am thinking that if I have to have something I'll take my lupus, thank you!
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