Thanks for the Memories

We all have memories, good and bad. But did you know that good memories can be used for good or bad? Let me explain. I hear patients complain all the time that they can't do what they used to be able to do and that's true. If remembering what we used to be able to do makes us feel angry, depressed, frustrated, or helpless then those memories are being used for bad. What we think causes what we feel. What we feel affects our health. There are two ways to change this negative reaction to our good memories.

The first is to recognize that no one stays the same. No one! As people age normally they are not always able to do the things they did when they were younger. It's the same for those of us with chronic illness, only our losses occur sooner and may be more dramatic. But the point is, if you are alive, you are going to experience changes in ability and energy. Welcome to the human race!

The second is to use those memories for good. Here is a personal example. This morning was the first break in the summer heat for Tampa. I went out to walk at 7 AM. It felt like a late June day on Long Island. As I walked along the water's edge and heard the waves gently lapping against the sea wall, I thought of how I spent endless teen age summers on my little orange and black boat that I named Gazorpf. Half way through the walk, I stopped to watch the sun coming up, listen to the water, smell the salt air, and feel the soft breeze. I was transported to those carefree teen days on the water.

I could have thought differently. I could have thought: I'll never be able to do that again. I can't even be in the sun very long. I don't have a boat. I was healthy then. I wish I wasn't old [OK I am 59 and that's not old!]. I wish I didn't have lupus. This is not fair. My life will never be the same."

Instead, in my mind I went back to those carefree days. I let myself feel the delirious freedom of being out on the water without a care in the world. I came home happy, recharged and ready to start my day.

When you think about good memories, what is your reaction? Are you mad, sad, or frustrated because you can't have those experiences now or do you look back at those memories as treasures that can bring you great joy even now? Can you choose your reaction? You bet you can! The difference between people and animals is that we get to choose our reaction.

Is there a song, a place, a picture, a smell or a taste that brings back good memories for you? Can you indulge yourself in opening that treasure chest and delighting in the memories that you have stored there? How lucky you are to have those good memories...me too!