Chronic illness and aging erode identity. We can't do a lot of what we used to do and we can't be who we used to be in relationships with others. We find ourselves grieving for who we used to be. The only way out is to go through that grieving process. It's like we lost someone we love, but that someone is us and part of us is still here grieving. Once we recognize that we are grieving, we have taken the first step to healing.