"My family doesn't believe I'm sick. They tell me I'm just weak and lazy. They think I do this to get attention. I wish someone would understand." A young woman posted this on Facebook today. Hundreds of people with chronic illnesses, especially women, post a variation on this them every day. If we are really honest with ourselves. we probably had similar thoughts until we moved from the land of the healthy to the land of the sick. Maybe we shouldn't judge the healthy folks so harshly!
Healthy folks need to have a reason for our condition. They need a reason so they can reassure themselves that what happened to us will not happen to them. One of the ways they do this is denial. In this case, denial says, "There is nothing wrong with her. She has a character flaw. She's using this as an excuse to slack off and not carry her weight in this family or society. Even if she does have something, her character is too weak for her to fight it. She should just suck it up, put on her big girl panties and soldier on."
We can't control what they think or say. What we can choose our reaction. Animals act on instinct. Humans get to choose. Why waste precious energy explaining until we are blue in the face when it won't change a thing? Everyone ends up exhausted and irritable. Nothing changes. We can choose to use our precious energy in self-care instead.
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