What on earth prompts people to say such stuff? I could write a book! Wait, Harold Kushner already did, it’s called When Bad Things Happen to Good People. I recommend it highly! Back to the task at hand. First of all, most people say this without thinking. Or they don’t know what to say but feel like they have to say something. Or they can’t make sense out of what is happening, and this is their lame attempt. They have heard it during hard times and so think this is what you say. Second, it assumes that God “gives” us chronic illness. And under that assumption is another one; we are all supposed to have perfect lives but sometimes God sends crap our way. Third, they ignore the fact that our ‘civilized’ life style, complete with toxins, pollutants, pesticides, processed food, stress, sedentary lifestyles etc… might just have something to do with the whole mess. I am not saying that illness is punishment for civilization. I am simply pointing out that there could be a connection between our very unnatural lives and illness. “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” is easy to say when you are healthy.
People are going to say things like this. They always seem to say it when we are feeling most vulnerable. We can’t control what they say, but we can control our reaction to it. Honestly, I have literally threatened to bite people who say this. A better choice is to prepare your reaction and response ahead of time. The response is very individualized. These days, my response is a lovely (false) smile accompanied by, “Thank you,” and a change of subject. What will your response be?
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